Saturday, July 11, 2009

Grocery Store Wonders

You'll never guess the sale they were having at the grocery store today, and when I say you'll never guess, I mean it.
The sale was 10/$10. Now see if you can guess what it was.
Still having a hard time? Okay, I'll tell you. It was 10 for $10 COTTAGE CHEESE.
I repeat: COTTAGE CHEESE!
Who in their right mind buys 10 tubs of cottage cheese all with the SAME EXPIRATION DATE? Except for old people, but I don't even think old people would buy 10 freaking tubs of cottage cheese.
Who could even EAT that much cottage cheese?
I was so weirded out that I seriously considered talking to the manager, but then I remembered that managers don't listen to teenage girls. So I decided I would just rant about it on here.
Needless to say, my trip to the grocery store today was one I will probably remember for a long time to come.

Heartburn Central

Food: pizza
Drink: soda (preferrably a cola or root beer)
Dessert: Reeses Peanut Butter cups

DON'T try it unless you are prepared to experience unendurable agony.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Alyssa's Spiel on Summer

Ah, Summer. The time of year every school kid looks forward to ALL YEAR LONG. Kids and teenagers alike think of it so often that they can almost taste it, smell it, reach out and touch it....
The real thing is a heck of a rude awakening.

Every summer is the same as the next, kids just forget how incredibly BORING it is in their longing for a world free of obligation. In truth, summer is long, hot, and boring to the point of exhaustion. Yes, that's right. Summer is so boring that it makes you physically exhausted- or is that just going to bed at midnight every night?
My point is that summer vacation is seemingly endless. All the days run into each other until summer is just one long day of TV, reading, showering at 2 P.M. (or not showering at all), video games, lack of sleep, and stress over the coming school year constantly hovering at the back of your mind.
All summer long, you can't stop thinking about the next school year. What will- insert grade here- be like? What new friends will you have? Will you have any classes with your current friends? What will you wear on the first day of school? Will your teachers all be morons? (probably). What clubs will you join?
This many questions simmer endlessly, until that feeling of anxiety builds in your stomach and you can hardly breathe. You fell as though you might faint. (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but you get the point... right?)
Worst of all are the coming-to-school-in-your-underpants dream. The get-lost-on-your-way-to-class dream. And, if you're a true nerd, the pop-quiz-on-the-first-day dream.
In short, summer is one long, meandering pathway that can only lead to another long, agonizing school year, and, inevitably, another long, agonizing summer after that.

This has been Alyssa. Thank you and good day.