Stupid Freaking Fish

The latest mistake of my life:

Christian needed to take care of a pet for a Scout's merit badge, and since Gracie is no longer with us (don't ask) my parents bought him some goldfish. When they got back from the pet store (Walmart version) they told us about these cool fiddler crabs they have there. One crab in particular was black while all the others were brown, and of course I was immediately drawn to the misfit. By the next morning, I had already picked out a name for the fellow (Napoleon Bonaparte. I'm gonna feel really stupid if I didn't spell that right) and convinced my parents that I was getting him. So, long story short, I blew 30 bucks on a fish bowl and all this crap for Napoleon, his lady-friend Marie Antoinette (YES, I know they're not from the same time period), Abby's crab (I don't think he ever got a name. He was just, "that one over there") and my other crab Gary Indiana (I wanted to name him Amaryllis, but that's a girl name). Also, Abby bought this really cool fat fish who she named Fredword.
Fast forward to today, keeping in mind I spent 30 bucks of my iTouch savings. They are all dead or dying. Marie seems to be doing okay, but I can tell that what's-his-name is on Death's doorstep. I don't know what went wrong. Honestly, I'm staring to think maybe we just got some defective fish. That's what you get for going to Walmart apparently....
So, the lesson I gained from all of this was never to give up what you want most (iTouch) for what you want at the moment (defective fish). When you make a decision like this (or any decision, I guess) always sleep on it. Because Napoleon Bonaparte did not seem nearly as cool the next morning when he was half-dead than he did when I first heard about him.
Just a word from the inexperienced and still learning. (i.e. ME).